yesterday i made the letter to H. told him about the M, about my activities with friends, about the A. gave it to him after i left with my D10 for school. just dunno if he had read it.
he didn't lash out on me yesterday, thank goodness, but he was quiet. cold treatment?
anyways, i did my journaling too. i think its a good way to express my thoughts and feelings, i cried while writing sometimes.
we recieved the grades of D10 also yesterday. she was in the top 10 of her class and we are happy about it and so proud of her. i also get to watch her practice with her classmates a cheerdance. i could see that she's very happy with her friends, she watch a movie with them afterwards. D13 was at home watching her favorite drama series.
i thank the LORD for giving them the life so different from mine. also realized that if DBing won't work on my M, i would be missing important events in their lives, thier smiles, and i won't be there when they are sad. i hate myself now more than ever.
i cast all my anxiety to GOD, i hope H would find it in his heart to forgive me.
this is all for now, RAinbow. God Bless you now and always. bye-bye
