R, did you get a chance to ask your H for forgiveness last night?
You might have to do it in a long, long letter. Just pour your heart out and give it to him WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS or EVEN A RESPONSE. Tell him you love him, and he didn't deserve your betrayal, etc.
Then give him time and patience and just unconditional love (non demanding, quiet, unassuming love. Do his laundry, iron his clothes, make him dinner...etc...bend over backwards.)
And don't keep saying "H doesn't want to work on the M, etc." Think positive and just give it some time.
I know you're hurting and everything is raw right now. But it will get better, I promise.
Commitment is where it's at. Compatibility is nice, but commitment is the MOST important thing in any M. Yes, you broke your commitment, but you're sorry and you are here on the boards working hard to make amends.
LISTEN to H, VALIDATE him and LET HIM BE IN CONTROL of the M for a while. Just lay low and continue SHOWING him your love. Let go of talking for now unless of course he wants to.
