My H and I have been separated for 3 months, bomb dropped June 1st, there is OW but he assures me she is just a "friend". (although he has told me he has feelings for her) He has said that there has been no sex and at this point I choose to believe him. He works in the bush all week and is only in town on the weekends and one day through the week. He stays at OW's house on the couch, so he tells me.(been there for about a month) She has a D that goes to school with our D.(13)
Quote: last night was nice but after a while I started to have the questioning thoughts of was his ea a pa at any point....
I too have wondered if it is a PA and not just an EA. I don't know that that would make it any worse, he is sharing an emotional intimacy with her that belongs to me. If it was just sex with "no feelings" it wouldn't be as bad. (it would still be betrayel and hurt like hell) Then again I don't know, it's hard to say until it happens. Just like I always thought that if my H betrayed me I'd be down the road, and where am I but trying to hang on to our R!
Another thing I thought of, my H (I assume yours too) has denied any PA and insists on it just being a friendship. Now they have said that they didn't want to be married anymore, although mine is at the point now where he doesn't know what he wants, needs time etc. My point is, if they really wanted out of the marriage and it is in fact a PA then why would they be reluctant to tell us? My thought is that if it is a PA the only reason that they would not tell us is because they are scared of rejection from us, scared of US closing the door on THEM. Another thought is that if a PA, maybe they're not happy with it, I don't mean not good sex, I mean they're not feeling as good as they thought they would.Just a thought, what do you think?
Either way in my case he has already shared intimacy with her in his emotions and to me that is just as bad as having sex with her.
My H doesn't want to split our "stuff" because he has a "feeling", doesn't want me to "move on", just wants time. What choice do I have if I want my M to work? But I, like you, have been experiencing doubts with all that has happened. One day (hell, one minute!) I want him back and the next I'm questioning why would I. I'm going up and down so much I feel like a yo-yo!!!
Tina
M 14 years, tog 20. 3 kids D-13, S-11, S-9. Bomb dropped June 1/02, sep Aug 11, living with OW since Oct/02.
