Sorry for the disappointment. The feeling of insecurity and disappointment is just so inevitible given your sitch. Glad you shared with us on this board before you let your mood going after your H tonight.
Given my inspiration to fix things as a guy, may I suggest a somewhat different mental strategy. Loretta's advise above had a point not to set your expectation too high by playing games. It is fun to some extent, but the down side is what you are feeling now: disappointment. This mood could result in your lashing out on your H when he does come. That would not be a good idea.
One thought I have was to make a clear arrangement with H for him to visit certain days of a week. Talk to him explicitly about his "obligation" to come home. Let him have the freedom to play or to do whatever he wants during the other days. If he comes, it is a bonus, but don't set the expectation and wait for him, or even wait on him as he comes. Enjoy yourself, read a book for your book club, help people solve problems on this BB. Keep yourself occupied.
You are the best judge of this suggestion, but the way I read your story, I felt that you are able to ask what what you want: you want him to be home certain nights of a week, perhaps a day/night in weekend. Don't set too many days, but communicate your expectation that he would call if he cannot make it. As things progress, he would voluntarily stay more and more, like he has been doing.
This could give you more peace of mind, while giving your H some space to grow and play with his buddies. You would not have to lash out on him for your disappointment. It would be a win-win arrangement.
Just like you said, I see positive directions as things are going. Your H is actually trying to come home, but he is also a boy (sorry, aren't men all?) and he needs time and space. The awkwardness you feel is a necessary step to strike a balance for both your H and yourself. So hang in there, and figure out what works and what not. He will come home eventually.
