h does know that he is still hurting me, last nigt while we were out he said "i know I hurt you and I know I'm still hurting you" i just looked at him and said still??? he said yes by not comming home i am still hurting you. h assured me (or tried to) that it is not that he is second guessing me it is himself that he is questioning, honestly i don't think it is about ow either, think it is about being responsible and being a h. he likes to work and watch football, work late if need be and not have to worry that someone is sitting at home getting boethered that he is still working. but h doesn't want to be alone either???? so what then to do,, I think i can give him the "freedoms" that he seeks as long as ( ok so it's a condition) I'm getting the things I need from him.
so i kinda just played with h, well not intentionally but what the hell, d in play pen, s watching tv, h takes me over to the other room and kisses me intending more, i kiss back but let him know not now.... h still tries i say no i'll leave you with some incentive to come back tonight... h thinks i'm playing with him.... am i?????? no i just would feel better about it if he were comming over tonight anyway not just getting some and then off to watch footbal and then to his appt. we (son and i) did get a maybe as far as whether or not he'd be back later. but as the song goes "it seems to me that maybe, pretty much means no" but then life is not a song is it???
ha ha ha no i'm not laughing at h, i am laughing at the whole sit!!!
