R goals are as follows: 1) H will call me daily just to chat 2)H will make and keep and appointment with the psychologist as promised 3)H will return all of OW "stuff" to her at work the week he returns from out of state 4)H will continue to tell me when he has talked to her and will cut off all contact with her once her things are returned 5)H will spend 1-2 nights a week at our home when he returns 6)H will agree to go out together at least once a week 7)H will go with S16 and I to Oklahoma for a race in February.
Communication has been great, he has shared alot of painful things and it has been very helpful for me. I have told him my fears and things that bother me and he has validated and remained calm and understanding.
H wants to see the psychologist to "help me understand why I did what I did. Why did I let things get this far with her and turn a friendship into this? I want to know if she used me." It bugs me a little that he wants to see psychologist to help him deal with the loss of her but I guess I've done a good job of letting him know that I'm here and supportive and non-judgemental. After he deals with the above issues he wants to work on stuff from his past then our marriage. I'm OK with that sequence of goals.
Should I continue to ML with him while we are separated and during his mourning of the OW? The sex is incredible and I don't feel bad afterward, but when I process through it later, I feel like he is just settling for me.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt. M-42, H-42. M-22yrs, together 27yrs, Sep 5yrs. D-22, S-18 I'm a survivor
