Off the crazy train?

[trytoohard]

Journaling...
H and I have spent many hours on the phone over the past two weeks (he is out of state working until the end of January) and had fantastic conversations. He has been calling me in the mornings to tell me to have a good day, calls me during the day to chat while he is on lunch break and calls me in the evenings every day.

Now, this past Wednesday he did not call me in the afternoon or evening AT ALL. I began to get a little distressed and instantly thought he was caught up in a protracted conversation with OW. I reminded myself that I need to keep my expectations low and stay the course but I did get quite nervous as the night progressed. I broke down and called him and it went straight to voicemail so I left a message "Call me later if you want to".

H called after 9pm bright and cheery and said "I have been in the weirdest bible study class ever!" and proceeded to tell me about the church service he went to after work and the heated discussion that followed in bible study! I felt guilty at first for thinking he was talking to OW but then realized I have a right to feel that way. I can't just let him off the hook for the damage that was done over the past 3 years. This is a result of his lies and deceit. I will tell him this weekend how I felt on Wednesday and was thrilled to hear he had been in church but fearful he was talking to OW and how I don't want to feel this way forever but this is how I feel right now. What do you guys think?