thanks for putting in the part about long term marriages not all containing cheaters.
I'd like to add that I've been married 21 years, am 41 and NEVER cheated on my husband. I'm very friendly and outgoing and considered very attractive so I've had plenty of opportunities, but I never came close to having one. If I had a "funny feeling" about a man being interested in me I would immediately avoid him and discontinue any friendliness beyond common curtesy.
Not only have I NEVER cheated on my husband, I avoided any serious relationship "entanglements" during my 6 months of divorce proceedings. Even through I made the transition into "single woman" and started looking amazing 24/7 and getting hit on constantly, I figured that until my marriage was completely legally dissolved, I would not become romantically involved with any men beyond a "friendship" level. I figured I wanted to be completely free and healed (work though all the hurt and baggage) before going into any relationships. Also, I was determined that if I did date again it would be with an honest, good, mentally healthy person. Truly, I'd rather be alone then be with someone who cheats, or has other addictions or problems. Why settle for less? I figured I'm now wiser so my standards should be much higher. Also, why add the drama? My husband's A and the D were enough.
I did meet some great guys while I was in divorce (even had a mental list of who I might consider dating when the divorce was final!!). But since it never went through that's all history. And I'm still a kind of "virgin" here. Only been with one man for over 20 years!!!
So... not everyone cheats.... and not everyone is willing to settle for "leftovers" or "fixer-uppers."
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
