Seems to me, OW is here because she is AFRAID that DBing will work and her BF will go back to his wife. What she is missing is that picking a guy who would do this to his wife is a BAD CHOICE OF A MATE, she doesn't realize that he is LYING to OW to keep her on the hook while he tries to make up his mind, and that the BEST OUTCOME for all involved would be for him to reconcile with his wife and for him and his wife to grow through this xperience, and for OW to find a guy of better quality who does not seek to solve his problems by jumping into bed with another woman.
Please, OW - I'm not mad at you, or venting - for your OWN sake, please realize that this guy is no catch, his wife has history, commitment and kids with him that makes the marriage worth saving, but YOU have no reason to hang around for this kind of BS. Don't you feel you DESERVE a man who is free to be with you, unencumbered by baggage, and who is not AMBIVALENT about his relationship with you????
