------------------- My father married OW --------------------
Can you say Freud?! (I'm a psychology student btw.) So your father married his OW and now you want this guy to marry you as YOU are HIS OW!
You're trying to heal some unconscious father loss/abandonment wound it seems to me. Go see a good therapist. No one in their right mind would tell you to continue seeing another woman's husband.
Adultery is morally wrong. And the person who helps another's spouse engage in adultery is an adulterer also.
I feel sorry for YOUR kids. If you don't see the detrimental effects of what you're doing to YOUR kids now, you'll see it in the future. If you have a son, he will sub-consciously form this idea that women are disposable or untrustworthy. Because of your H's affair and now your behavior. If you have a daughter, she might be doomed to seek married men. (They can be healed in therapy, but not if you continue your unhealthy way of living sending them the message that such behavior is OK. Remember as parents, we always pass on our unhealed wounds onto our children. It is a scientific fact!)
What about the tremendous sorrow you are causing to another human being and this family? It seems to me that you're a very childish and selfish woman who hasn't grown up or fully developed in a healthy manner yet.
People who are unhappy themselves engage in such ethically sketchy behavior.
You have zero compassion and are coming across as a sociopath frankly. A sociopath is someone who has no ability to FEEL the pain of another person or put themselves in another human being's shoes. (And how cleverly you've painted this man's W as a lunatic......good job, I hope it makes you feel less guilty.)
You must be a deeply hurt woman to cling to such deep delusions.
In psychology, nothing is accidental. You're on this board because deep down in your sub-conscious (or at the back of your consciousness), you KNOW that what you're doing is wrong. You wouldn't hang around here to hear such taunts and insults from us here on the forum. Go see a psychoanalyst, please. Being mentally healthy is hard work, but you can do it!
Find out WHY you NEED to be in this situation? What in your pscyhic baggage is MAKING you behave this way? You are obviously hurting and have been deeply hurt by your father and your first husband. And now you seem to have FOUND an opportunity to MAKE IT RIGHT.
You NEED THERAPY. NOW!
Good luck in your healing.
rainbowlove
PS: Read, We: The Psychology of Romantic Love by Robert Johnson. And wake up!
