Interesting...I really thought I've come across it all....
I guess I'm having a hard time wondering exactly what it is you are hoping to gain or learn by posting to these boards IOW. I mean, if there is some legitimate goal you hope to attain by posting on this site, then by all means, post away. And maybe I missed this in all your previous posts, but I can't quite grasp exactly what it is you hope to achieve here.
Yes, I think we are all pretty much aware that our respective marriages were in the toilet prior to the affair and yes, I don't think all the blame rests with the OP or with the cheating spouse. And I agree with you that, at some point, your boyfriend, as you call him, needs to get real with his wife and with you and figure this out.
But, as Ellie so wonderfully pointed out, there does seem to be a pattern to these things. The whole "affair" is built upon lies and deceit, either to wife or the other woman, or both, and to oneself. Its just the way it is...
So, please, if I missed your point or failed to catch what it is you exactly hope to gain here, remind me. We have a pretty good group of people here who are tolerant of differing opinions, but I doubt if they all need to have the whole affair thing rubbed in their noses in their cyber lives as well as their normal lives.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
