ok so i called h's cell phone and got the answering service, let him (it god i hate talking to recordings) know that i am sorry that i let it bother me so that he won't be comming over, that i have to realize there will be times when he needs his space as well as i need mine and that i cannot take it personally when he doesn't come and use my own interpertations of what it means. and of course more but that is all i remember it being.
so son wanted to call h and did, then h talks to me and tells me he got the message and was going to call me as the phone rang.... he understands this is difficult for me, cant say that he knows the feelings but understands... he is trying to spend time with me and the family and wants me to be comfortable and when we are all comfortable inevitably he will come home. anyway he said alot of things and apparently is not giving up on me or being pushed away from me by my sadness or angry words (but i should stop that if I want to speed up the home comming)
things are not as bad as i seem to want to see them.
LL
h also assured me that when he does not come here it is not because he is doing "anything" other than working late and/or going to his apt to sleep, ALONE. i didn't ask, he volunteered that info.
