You are a beautiful strong woman, able to accomplish her goals, without some crutch of a man around to hold onto.
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I have never thought of H as a crutch or of any man as a crutch, I can have a nice happy life with out H or a man. But I really want that relationship, I have been happier and better with my H specificaly than ever in my life. I thougth we were inter-dependant. There was no one serious for 7 years before I met him. I'm picky. My H is one of a kind, in many ways a mench (spelling), and I won't meet another him.That said, you are right, I am attractive and personable, though my sadness and this sitch has made me like nervous, and untrusting and I wonder if I can ever open up that trust again? But, either way, I know God will give me what I need, and hopefully that special relationship with or without him, where you know and trust that the person you married always has your best interest at heart. Where you love and respect eachother. I thought we had that, what a fool was I? I was proud of our marraige, too proud I guess.
But it's obvious that he thinks of love as a feeling and not a choice. It's so sad that he doesnt' understand the feelings can come back. That if we hang on we can come back even better, I miss so his hugs and kisses too, and calling me sweet names. But it can't happen anyway if he's miserable and really can't get it back. And I wouldn't want his spirit to be dashed, as he has dashed (but not extinquished) mine.
And I dont' know if I can ever feel comfortable with him again either, I dont' want to be in a marriage where I feel I have to walk on eggshells, where I can't trust that D is NOT AN OPTION. Because we both see the relationship as a covenental one. I was always myself with him before we married. Certainly got blindsided by MLC?
OK let me regroup and get back to humor. Off to get some excersize!
Well I do have to keep my sense of humor! and you certainly helped with that. And by the grace of God, I must be doing OK if I can laugh out loud at your post.
