I've had enough of playing this game with h, make up your damn mind. gee find it funny that you don't want me to call a lawyer yet you don't know if you want to come home or not and you continuosly want to just avoid the issue and hang out and have a good time, I mean really what are you looking for for everything to just be peachy???? grow the hell up and realize that aint real life, there are going to be good days and bad days and that my dear is just the way it is. when you are standoffish with me I will be cold to you, when you are warm to me I will be warm to you, if you continue to throw me back and forth I will eventually get sick and throw you up!!!
I am fed up with living my life this way, I should have given up years ago but no I hung in there waiting for better, you have a "friend" i should leave but do i no I hang in there, you leave the home I should leave but do i no I hang in there, you tell me you want a d, do i leave no i hang in there, you tell me you are in love with some one else, i should leave but do i no I hang in there, you tell me you want to come home and try and yet you don't come home, I should leave but do i no i hang in there. how long do I continue to play this game with you, i am tired of the uncertainty I would like to live a "normal" life where my h actaully lives in my house and comes home everynight even if late because of work. I am tired of wondering how you will be when you are here, I am tired of the questions and when I stop questioning I will be distant from you and if you do decide here is where you want to be everynight my heart will be so cold from all the doubt that there will not be a warm and comforting person to sit on the couch with you, how long do you think you can treat me this way, how long do you think you can take to figure things out, how long do you think the children and i can live with the fact that daddy may or may not be a full part of our lives. i am tired and i just want it to end, i want peace, I want to know what direction the rest of my life will be taking, and if I truly start to move in a direction that does not include you there will no longer be a place here for you, yes you will always be the father of our children and will be welcome to spend time with them and be a part of their lives but there will no longer be a place for you in my life. i am tired of waiting for you h, i have spent far to many years of my life waiting for you, now you have shown me bits and peices of why it is that i have waited around and yet are still undecided as to whether or not you will actaully make it a perminant thing. how long do you think you have, i want to start living and my waiting for you is holding me back. you want to be needed but if you keep keeping yourself from me you will see that I don't need you. LL who doesn't have a clue!!
