I guess one way to look at it is to look for real quality time. Both you and H need some space. Make every encounter a good experience for both of you; so don't engage too much too often. Take it slowly; maybe give it once or twice a week real quality time. That would be a lot of positive reinforcement. As you said, it takes many many postitive experience to put you two back together. That would take time.
The anxiety would be understandably high, but I am sure you can achieve what you want. It just takes longer than we all hoped for. Hang in there and hope you could share with us the good experience you had by the time you see this post.
