z seems you are getting what i want and I am getting what you want. I am getting all the physical intimacy a person could ask for (and before all this I often did ask for, hell i put it on my christmas list)part of what makes me continue to think about ow, before all this h was denieng me physcial contact and now i don't initiate a thing. I am getting the emotional intimacy in dribs and drabs I am very confused about where I have been and where i am going in regard to h, so I think it best that for now I just not worry about any of that and let what will be, be.
some how some way I will make it through all this, whether it is with my family intact and h and i together or not is yet to be known, but i will make it through, there will be a time when I no longer have a headache thinking about such things as how h feels about me, what h thinks, what he's doing or done, maybe that time should start now!! LL
