ll, you sound very much at the end of your rope. i have a very hard time believing an ea would stay just that for that long. my h had a "friend" too. after the fact, i found out it had been a pa for 6 monthes(not consecutive, off and on). then he had another "friend" that he swore was just a friend, wasn't like that...blah blah blah. he left me for her for 3 monthes. maybe your h really can keep it in his pants, but mine sure could not. it seems it may be true because even the ow says so and surely she would tell you if it were a pa, if only to tick you off enough to let your h go. also she said she wanted to D her h anyway.
i guess that really isn't the point, it's how your h is unavailable for your needs. i think my h uses sex as a way to communicate his love for me. we started being intimate again for a while before he was able to express himself verbally. your h may just need time. he may think that the sex is his way of saying he loves you.
we have been back together 8 monthes and things are very different now than in the beginning. please hang in there. your h has a lot of personal growth to go through. i am sorry you are so tired and have been treated so badly. you deserve so much happiness and you will have it. lisa
