z, as you know reconciling is difficult and different for each of us. I know h and I can be happy, I just have to get over the fear that "it" will happen again and allow myself to loose the resentment and enjoy today and tommorow, if I continue to prepare myself for the worst I will not be able to enjoyt the present. it is a bit harder for me because my mother lived a lie for years, thought she had a happy marriage and that the affairs had ended only to find they had not. I just don't want to be my mother, but I have to realize that I am NOT my mother and my h is not my father, we are different people and just because on story went one way does not mean that a similar story is the SAME story. LL trying to love my h from a distance while he tries to bring himself back to me.
