well that sucked, friend came over, h was here, upstairs watching football, his phone was in downstairs bathroom, it beeped, I looked at it and scanned the calls no incomming from ow, but an outgoing to her while on his way over tonight, my friend left. I went to h and asked him if he wanted to be my h, he said yes, I then took house phone dialed ow's # and gave him the phone, he realizing who I had called hung up. told me he had called her to tell her they couldn't talk anymore. (i had asked that this call be made with me for my reasurance) ow (caller id) calls back (i also have caller id) so I give the phone to h, little words, she apparently asking him if she should talk to me (as if i'd believe her) turned into a discussion that h clearly did not want to have, h just didn't understand how important it was for me to hear him tell her not to call him anymore. any way h is now sleeping in sons bed after walking away from me, this is clearly not the way to do things, h wants to reasure me that he wont leave that we are working on us.
h was able to express his feelings for ow to her in a non physical manner but has yet to be able to do that with me, I express that fact to him and his response "it takes time" so oh great h is not in love with me is in love with ow. is trying to be in love with me. why do I get the feeling this is about the kids, gee could be that instead of hugging me and telling me i love you and want for things to work out with us, all he can say is I'm here arent I, I came over didn't I, I'm not spending time with anyone else. does he comfort me, no he walks away and goes to lay down with son. and leaves me. not a good way to communicate. all it says to me is I am doing this for my kids. so gee fine do it for the kids we'll have fun and all, I'll just prepare myself to be left when the kids are grown and it will supposedly no longer be a problem for them. LL
