thanks lsl, I do not know if it is a mlc or not, h is acting different but there is no way for me to know if the differences are really different or him just getting comfortable showing me who he is, h was very detached and withdrawn for a long long time. definate a, they can call it a friendship if they like, ow actually at one point did admit to it being and ea. both claim no pa. I have read the infidelity section of dr and have some understanding of why it happend. h has read the infidelity section for the betraying partner as well. this is a slow road, I want the r I have been waiting for and it seems to be right at my finger tips, how to get it in my palm is the question. h seemed to be more interested and calling more when I was more reluctant. I am not pursuing him physically (don't have to, he can't keep his hands off me) started calling him just a few days ago, hasn't worked in my favor as his calls have slowed. h seems sincere in his wanting to come home, lets me know that he will get angry and frustrated but he isn't going to run away. thing is he isn't here yet to run away. I just wish I knew what I was really dealing with. an ea as a result of unhappiness? a pa? a mlc? h has not been a real part of my life for so long that I don't know how to tell. I belived him when he told me the r with her was over the last time, he has confessed that it didn't end he lied and asked her to lie to me to (about when they had last talked) I want to believe they have simmered the r down, I want to believe there was no pa (at least not before he left the house) honestly I want to skip all this and have h come home so we can begin developing some sense of normalicy, it is difficult to have a marriage when your spouse doesn't live in your home. LL
