The long journey I didn't sign up for.............

[Was2sad]

WARNING ... WARNING ... WARNING ...Shelley ... I mean Will Robinson.

Just passing by and saw your latest post. Going dim huh? Could be good. Doing it to see what happens? Could be good.

Expecting it may have an effect on H? Mmmmmmm not good.

Do it for you. Do it for your sanity and peace of mind. If it affects H, ok. If it affects the Middle East, ok. But do it for yourself or you won't fully experience the moment. You won't really gain the peace of mind that it brings if you spend the whole time wondering how it is affecting him.

Good luck with whatever you do and keep us posted.

[nodivorceplease]

Thanks Was2sad, I have to keep reminding myself to keep the focus on ME and not him. It's hard to do. I do feel like he's cake eating a bit and I need to set some limits on that. I feel like pulling back may help me with the detaching too. It's so hard to have a wonderful day with him and then remember that he doesn't want me anymore. So my goal is to go "dim" for a month and then see how I feel about things. I wish I could go dark and not see him at all but that would be impossible in my sitch.

Shelly

[ShadesofGrey]

I wish I could go dark and not see him at all but that would be impossible in my sitch.

Me too.

I was just watching Brothers and Sisters and Kitty asked the Senator if he missed his wife (they're D'd) he said no but he misses the people they were. I could totally relate to that.

When do you start school? If it is this week, hope you love it. If it's next week, same thing!! Enjoy your life, enjoy your D, leave H be at the moment.

I should take my own advise.

Shades

[nodivorceplease]

Just a quick update.....

I have started my college classes and already have LOTS of homework so my time is a bit limited here. It feels good to be doing things that are positive and all about me. I have my first appt with the personal trainer today and I'm excited! I might not be so excited tomorrow when my whole body hurts. I'm also going to check out the local separated/divorce support group tomorrow night. I'll let you know how that goes. Between all of my activities and my D7's activities, I'm a very busy girl which I think is good for me right now. Being busy helps me to stay focused on myself and not my H. Speaking of H, he came by last night for a visit and was in a horrible mood. He was complaining about work and all his other usual junk and I had to work very hard not to get sucked into his drama. It's hard for me to see how unhappy he gets and not want to "help" him. I know there is nothing I can do for him right now. I wanted to yell at him.....IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY! But, I just smiled and said "I'm sorry you are having a hard time." Just last week he was spending lots of money on extras for himself and last night he was complaining about money. I still depend on him financially so that worries me a bit. I went in another room and did some homework while he played with D7. I could hear him getting frustrated with a game they were playing but I did not rush in and try to help him like I might have done in the past. So I just have to keep reminding myself to detach, detach, detach.

That's my story for today
Shelly

[ShadesofGrey]

I'm glad you are enjoying school. Having a personal trainer sounds great, but yeah I bet you'll be sore!! I'm signing up for a yoga class next week. Should be fun and less painful. lol

You are doing well to focus on yourself and stay out of H's drama. He needs to figure out how to deal with his own life and choices. This week my H too was complaining about his job. Said he might be happier "flipping burgers" I told him he might and sorry he was having a hard time and left it at that.

I used to jump in to help H with the kids when he would get frustrated (still do sometimes). I'm trying not to. I'm glad you are letting him find his own way with D7. I need to do the same.

Hope you keep enjoying yourself and all your new activities.

Take care,
Shades

[25yearsmlc]

stomp stomp! I want a trainer too.....!!! well, GOOD for you ND, wow. I'm impressed with your GAL efforts girl. Keep it up!
j-