You might want to start thinking boundries. I had to do that with my h about a year ago. He came over whenever he wanted and did what ever he wanted. I told him that he left and I would appreciate it if he called before coming over. This is my house, and has been pretty much for the last 19 months. My h needed to respect my space and has done that by calling before coming over. If we aren't available then I tell him that it isn't a good time.
I think you will feel better going dim or dark. It helps you to keep your sanity and gives you peace.
