Fearless, I see by what you posted, you are a good soul. Almost all of what you posted is right or has the right intention. I would never consider anything you said so far as insulting.

The closeness and intimacy is then part of the physical touch. Those can be separate issues, right
Yes they can be and are separate issues, sometimes, too separated where one happens a lot more than normal and the other happens a lot less than normal.

My main point sex is a way of feeling connected and a physical release of sexual tensions. Having sex is also very calming and relaxing for me and makes life mellower for a couple of days.

Maybe you guys are right and you've done everything you can and it's just up to your wives.
No, not everything, but a lot of things.

I am still looking for the right lever pull or button push sequence to be in the winner’s circle. I am not hoping for or depending on lucky, but I haven’t found what works very well.

Maybe I am looking for my W to do as much as I have to improve the R. Just being a little facetious, sorry.

by fixating on your issues and spending all of your time trying to prove how miserable you are in your marriage, it seems like you are just reinforcing the negativity in your life.
That is true. Most of the posters are saying they did “A” and “B” and “C” and not much changed. Some of the vents are just saying one spouse did some work and the pay off was minimal.

I did some of the DB things to be more independent. It felt like I was giving up on the M. I could feel, the more I did for myself, the less I cared about my W, the less I cared about our M. Spooky in a way.

If I'm not helping at all, just tell me to stop posting and I will.
I wouldn't want you to stop posting Fearless.

My reply earlier was just to let you know how I, one person, feels about fulfilling my own sexual needs verses being in a sexual R and I was expressing the differences how those desires play out with someone I care about.

I think a few women have the idea the guy just wants sex, any sex with about any woman will do. It might work that way for players, or for someone still thinking like a teenager. It doesn't work that well for me. That is "MY" story.

The HDW's have their own thoughts about LDH's so this HD?LD? thing isn't gender specific.

I have no business talking at all about the LD/HD thing because I don't understand the woman LD thing and obviously I haven't a clue what it is to be a HD man.
Well, stick around. You will learn most of it fast.

Fearless, keep posting.

Lou