In a way, Dedia is trying to get men to do just this, he is trying to get men to STOP focusing on the physical aspects of marriage, and to focus on themselves and their goals in life (again, a LD type action).
I think he's suggesting that focusing on the physical aspects of your relationship isn't the most effective way to improve the physical aspects of your relationship. He's saying men who focus on their goals in life are the most appealing to women.
I'm not sure that's an LD type action. If it is, isn't staying married to a woman who won't have sex with you an LD type action?
I don't know how pertinent it is, but I find it interesting that as a somewhat newly single HD person I have found myself taking LD type action to get out of HD relationships that weren't working for whatever other reason as well taking LD action to avoid LD relationships which I know won't work for me in the long run (but would still provide a "> 0" amount of se)x. It occurs to me that I'm utilizing LD tactics in my pursuit of an HD relationship. It's possible that might work for you as well. Not simply suppressing your desire but focusing on your goals, instead.
Deida's LD type actions, as you define them, are intended to generate HD results.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
Wow - you have an incorrect view of Deida. Elsewhere in his works he describes how when women get anxious and throw a lot of verbage at you, they don't really need the verbage addressed but rather, they need to be "loved open." I don't think he is talking about something non-sexual. He is clearly being sexual and basically intimating that often women just need a good screw. However, if your entire focus is on the R istead of your own mission and purpose women tend to perceive this as a weakness and turn off to you. It isn't on purpose. It just is part of being the female of the species. Remember when I asked you to read Deida with an open mind? This is what I am talking about.
Dieda also says that if a woman will not follow her man, then he needs to seriously think about finding another woman. You say you cannot leave your wife because of religious reasons, but I think that just makes a convenient excuse for you. There are plenty of people in all religions who will divorce if need be. The argument that you stay for your kids is not sufficient. You and your wife put forth a poor image and there will likely be problems for you kids when then grow up. Divorce is not good. But a divorce and a healthy, functional remarriage can overcome many of the problems kids would otherwise develop. Stop using your kids and your religion as an excuse to not confront your own fears. You have one of the highest levels of denial I have seen on this board.
Quote: There are plenty of people in all religions who will divorce if need be.
Sure the are, but that does not make it right. That is one of the real problems I have, to be happy, I must somehow find a way to go against my deepest principals. That can not be a good thing.
As for divorce being a good thing, I would say that my wife is the perfect example of how BAD it can be. She came from a broken home and all examples of women in her life are FAILURES at marriage. He mother, her aunts, her guardian, her own sisters. NONE of them has a successful marriage (but not all have divorced, yet). So she has no clue as to what a great marriage looks like close up.
I wich there was a deida like book for christain HD men.
I guess I have another book to read. Can you in a nutshell describe how implementing the theories of this book will cause the LD women to change? And I am not interested in what MIGHT work, I want to know what WILL work (Like Dr. Lauras book for women).
