I cannot take this ALIEN anymore!!!

[nodivorceplease]

Honestly, I just don't know anymore. In a perfect world, I don't want to get divorced. But all of this would all be a moot point if he didn't become Spendy McSpenderson and decide to stop paying his bills. As much as I want to be with him again some day, I'm worried that the prospect will cause me to put myself second and let him screw me over financially. Also, sometimes I feel like I need to move on because as it stands right now, he doesn't want me. I have to take his words at face value - he doesn't love me. Hell, he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I'd like nothing more than to hang on, but at some point I need to come to grips with the fact that he may never want me back. At least if we get divorced, I might have a chance to find someone else some day. As much as I love my H, I do not want to hold myself back from life. Hopefully, the road leads me back to him and if necessary, we can get remarried.

Does that all sound crazy?

Nope, you don't sound crazy at all. I find myself thinking those exact things sometimes. I go thru periods of wanting to save my M and I have days when I wonder why I am holding any hope. This is your journey and only you can decide what feels right for you. My H has not wanted anything to do with me since he left and I sometimes think I am wasting my time thinking it will ever be different. I had so much faith in him that maybe I just don't want to believe this is the way it has to end. It sounds to me like you are thinking very clearly.

Shelly