I think leaving it alone and leaving him alone to his own thoughts is the best thing you can do at this point. He sounds very confused. Sometimes I think these MLCers are so confused that they try to weed out some things in their life so that they can try and figure out what is happening to them. I think they choose their spouses because we are the closest to them and since they don't have the capacity to look beyond their immediate troubles, they just choose the first thing they see...us, the LBS. We're there everyday, naturally (to them) we cause them the most pain, it's the most visible. It's all their simplistic little minds can handle right now.
Ya know how you have a bad day at work or something...the pressure builds and builds all throughout the day...then, you come home...you walk in the house, the dog is barking to go out, the phone starts ringing, there's someone at the door who wants to sell you some candy you know you don't need and all you can think about is getting to the bathroom before an accident happens...then, your 5 year old asks you for a snack...and you SNAP...you say, "CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY"!!! Oops!
I know you don't have kids, but I'm sure you can relate in some way. The point is you snap on the person you are closest to who deserves it the least. This is how I see the mind of the MLCer...it's confused, it's stressed, it's at the end of the rope...and who do they end up taking it out on???...their spouse....all we did is ask them for a snack and they just SNAPPED.
I think it's a good sign that your H has not filed. My H told me in October he wanted D and we started filing in November and he follows up with L on a regular basis to find out when everything will be done...rush, rush, rush. However, this is not all about him, this is about you too!!! You have every right to decide if you want to hold on and ride this rollercoaster. If you want to, we will be here for you...sitting right next to you...going through the same loops...sometimes you're screaming because it's scary and sometimes it will slow down and give you a moment to catch your breath before you hit that next big drop. You have every right to get off at the next stop though. You're in control.
