I cannot take this ALIEN anymore!!!

[Lizarina]

Honestly, I just don't know anymore. In a perfect world, I don't want to get divorced. But all of this would all be a moot point if he didn't become Spendy McSpenderson and decide to stop paying his bills. As much as I want to be with him again some day, I'm worried that the prospect will cause me to put myself second and let him screw me over financially. Also, sometimes I feel like I need to move on because as it stands right now, he doesn't want me. I have to take his words at face value - he doesn't love me. Hell, he doesn't want to have anything to do with me. I'd like nothing more than to hang on, but at some point I need to come to grips with the fact that he may never want me back. At least if we get divorced, I might have a chance to find someone else some day. As much as I love my H, I do not want to hold myself back from life. Hopefully, the road leads me back to him and if necessary, we can get remarried.

Does that all sound crazy?