I'm very happy to see how well things are going, with the occasional unavoidable missteps, things are going well, my H has also opened up a bit more, it's amazing how when we have a dissagreement it actually evolves into him opening up to me as to what he feels.
He actually told me in the back of his mind he thinks I might actually still want revenge for what he did to me, not because I've said it but because if the tables were reversed he coudlnt' see himself forgiving such offenses (what he did to me) And that's why sometimes it is hard for him to get close to me. (newbies, take note, it's hard for the WAS to process forgiveness)
I have to work even harder on scaling down my hissy fits, now that i know that whenever I get upset he thinks I am extracting my revenge on him. By all means I dont' harbor hate and I told him that, it is mostly sadness and regret, I couldnt' hate him.
Sooooo, we are both still working at understanding each other, and I have learned that if I pile the drama too thick he thinks I'm taking revenge, and that's the last thing on earth I'd every do. So, I need to work on myself more on that part.
TL, I need to be at that same level of detachment you are, I still hang onto my H to feel good about myself, I sort of regressed s a bit when he came back, hoping he'd "make it all right". Now that' I'm the "aggressive" one in the SL department, he says it feels strange since I was never like that, so I guess it is time to change strategies and not pursue him as much even if we do ML each tiem I do. It will be hard but it needs to be done, I need to stop depending on him to feel good.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
