Please, please back away...you are placing too much emphasis on this trip to Hawaii. You still have a long way to go before this marriage is solidified.
The other night, I would suspect that your husband was just testing the waters when he stayed over. It was great that he did...however, he hasn't been back yet. Whenever he decides to come home for good, he will. Don't beat yourself up because it wasn't for a permanent result.
When you do go on this trip - do have fun - however until he actually moves back in for good...nothing has changed. You still need to continually DB, from here until eternity.
Yes, he can change his mind, he can do this while on the trip or after. Please, do not feel that when he comes back to you that "you" need to sit down and have a serious talk with him...you still don't get it...do you? He left because of your marriage problems, thus, it will be up to him to discuss anything or not...it's his choice. I ask you again...what will be the benefit of you knowing all the details? Do you understand that you will then be judging him, relaying the information that he was the bad party when you both contributed to the unsatisfactory marriage? What gives you the right to point fingers...My God, you were the one that said your ML was boring...it takes a boring partner to push a man away...you just are going about this in a really poor way.
I commend you for starting to GAL, however, making business plans to be near him frequently is controlling, which you are and also put you here...stop it...he knows, he really does...but, he might just be trying to bring you down easily...not her....think, use your head...let him run this marriage...please, please detach...you are not over this by any means.
He says alot, but what about his actions? They speak just the opposite...reality check Tam...reality.
Again, I'm not here to bring you down, but you are putting all your eggs in one basket...I'm telling you that the basket isn't ready to hold all of them...you can't force him to do anything, but by reading your posts, you are still trying to run his life...it won't work Tam, it really won't.
When he moves back in, you let him decide whether or not he wants to discuss the affair...if he does, great - if not that's okay...your job is to prevent him from straying ever again - by being loving, listening to him, being calm and respectful, taking care of his needs, by spicing up your techniques - making it less boring.
Do that Tam - he'll never think twice about leaving again.
Good luck...I have faith in you that you will come out of this in a better position - one that lets your husband be the man he is...
