Thanks so much for your advice, BluePoet. I really appreciate your posting to my thread.
Yesterday was a really hard day. I almost felt as if it was starting all over again, as it was so hard to have him come home for a night and then not come home again. At the same time, I keep catching myself and am working on focusing on all of the wonderful, positive things that have happened over the past week or so now. Things are really looking up, and I just have to keep working hard.
I really felt like I wanted to talk with him yesterday but didn't. I needed to be with him some just because, so I went over to see him a few times for business reasons. I did ask him about Hawaii, as I'm getting ready to make some final arrangements for that, and he said we're still on and that everything is on schedule still. I asked him something like whether he was upset (meaning about what had happened), and he said no. Then he changed the subject, so I just let it go. So just those few sentences were said about the R. Everything else yesterday was business. He did help me fix some things on my car and did call me once just to ask me about my car, so that was nice.
He went out with some friends last night and I'm sure had a nice time, which I'm really glad for. He did not come home, and that's okay... baby steps. Two months ago there is probably no way he would have ever come home and spent the night with me and have done and said such caring, hopeful things. And he's still saying Hawaii is a go, so I must keep looking towards that.
I do feel like that I myself took a backslide on this whole ordeal since Tuesday, as, like I said, it's almost like it started over again in a way. I know I need to focus on how wonderful things are going now, and I am catching myself and doing that. At the same time, it's just hard. I guess I just got my hopes up and am now sad that it's still not completely over. I hope it's normal to feel that way in some small way.
H just called me! It was to ask a business question, but we had a nice quick conversation. It's so good just to have him call me, for whatever reason, and to hear his voice...
Anyway, any continued advice would be so much appreciated. Yesterday was really hard, and today I'm feeling a little stronger again and am working towards giving him space and just being happy again. Today is a new day, and it is one day closer to our reconciliation.
