In any marriage, there is usually one S that leads, more than the other. This is usually reserved for the H, the head of the table, so to speak. However, wise women know how to "allow" their H's to "think" that they are in charge, even if they do so themselves.
As I mentioned to you earlier, you need to let your H run the forward gamet in this R. That means, to let him decide the direction you'll be paddling the canoe. He tuned you out some time age...please let him be the man he is w/o all the planning and worry from your end.
He had an A...But, you want him back...therefore, he plays by his rules now. That means, he calls the shots, in his own time frame. Pushing him into these affirmations just don't work - I suspect that he brought it up b/c you are always asking. Nothing more.
The trip is a business trip - however, I see much expecta- tion in your post that this will be a second honeymoon. You have been rushing this way too fast...he will do what he needs to do, when he feels like doing it. The pressure is still coming from you - not the date of the trip. If he hasn't broken it off, you will be absolutley devastated. Plus, he'll feel more pressure. This is going to take a long time to heal in both of your hearts. He needs to see that any changes you've made are not temporarily contrived due to the trip. You need to understand that you may never get all or even some of your questions answered...ever. You also need to realize that if he wants to talk about the OW, he will. If not...so be it. Your need to know will do exactly what for your R? Other than make you angry, more than likely depressed...what benefit is it for you?
My XH and I are still dating, since 12/11/06...we have yet to sleep with each other or ML. He cheated, I cheated and then came the divorce. I detached 200%...he came back within a year...but we needed to go through the D.
Don't worry about ML now, he's not home yet. Then, if he should reside there again, let him initiate the first move in that dept. It's his ballgame.
Tam - to check anyone's thread: See the poster that you want to learn about on the left hand side of the screen in red? Click on to that name and you will end up on the page of that person's profile. At the bottom, you'll see a part that says: Show all of user's posts - click on that. The next screen will list all of the forums that the person has responded to. At the top right side, you'll see "Next". Click on that however many times needed to get to the first post of that person. To get out - hit main index.
I've responded to a few, but always post in infidelity.
