As far as the sex issue goes, you might get a more thoughtful and educated response on the Sex Starved Marriage board. There are some really good posters over there who know how to pack a punch. I really respect their views.
Regardless of if he comes home tonight, 2 days before Hawaii or after Hawaii, you are both going to have a lot of healing to do. Some say when the partner who has had the affair returns the work/pain/angst really starts.
You should read Believing_Isiah's thread here in Infidelity. Her H had an affair, they reunited and have been back together for about a year, but she is still struggling. I know she has learned a lot during this time and I'll bet she could share some of the lessons with you.
Mostly I think she's had to learn to deal with her anger and betrayal, and in doing so has risked the marriage again.
Take care
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
