Thanks, 1210. It's great to hear from you again! I'm glad you posted on my thread. You've been so helpful in being honest and candid with me with your advice and thoughts and opinions. I've really appreciated that.
I know I'll love Hawaii. I don't know if you remember that that is where we got engaged and that we have not been back since. It's kind of ironic, isn't it? It will be nice to hopefully make a "fresh new start" there, where it in a sense all began initially. But this time it will be a fresh new start with an all new resolve to create a magical marriage and to NEVER, EVER be where we are at today, and not even close to it.
I'm still having a hard day today - in and out of tears. I don't know why, as I should be ecstatic at all of the positives that have happened the past few days, and I know I should be proud of the enormous way I've come from where I was at a few weeks ago to where you all have helped me get to today - still a long ways to go, and I've come a long way, too. I guess maybe he got my hopes up on Saturday - even though I told myself it may not happen and wasn't "over the top" excited - and now I just feel even more let down. However, the good that came from that is that HE has brought up the OW and our R a few times on his own now and has also thanked me twice now for being so patient/understanding and also asked me to lunch today and has done some other nice gestures. He's also been much kinder towards me I've noticed, which has been nice. I see a small glimpse of the old H that I love so much but can tell he's still guarding himself from truly letting go. I feel like we will both have a huge crying spell when he does come home and that there will be a big release of built-up emotions, and I so look forward to that...
I have started to (cautiously) think about what to do/how to act/etc. when he does come home. I realize this may NOT happen before Hawaii and that everything may backfire, but at the same time I want to think about the most appropriate way to handle things when he DOES come home, regardless of when that will be. And since for the first time this last weekend HE was the one who actually brought up wanting to resolve things with her, I hope we are a bit closer (although, again, it's still entirely possible that he could have just said that because he was tired and didn't want to go out with me and/or didn't want to be in a social atmosphere with me yet, etc., etc., but I can't think those things - have to stay positive and take it for the truth for now).
At any rate, I would welcome any suggestions from anyone regarding the appropriate "first steps" to take once he does come home. I have some ideas that I will mention eventually but want to see what you all have to say as well.
Thanks again for posting on my thread, 1210. I found your thread a while back and can't find it again. Would you mind pointing me to it? I would love to read about your situation as well.
