Hi there --

Just wanted to check in and thank you all again for your continued support and encouragement.

Not much new to report in the last few days. We've had some evening meetings that have gone well. I've been doing much better about not talking about the R and/or the OP. The worst I've done is ask about future plans and only once or twice for reassurance about still being on track. Other than that - nothing! No long, heavy talks whatsoever. We've been getting along really well, and I'm just focusing on staying positive when we are together and acting like everything is perfect in my world.... Not so easy, and I'm doing it.

I finished reading Divorce Remedy for the second time last night. It was really helpful to get some more reminders and encouragement. H still insists we are "still on track" for him to resolve things with the OW and come home and that we are still going to Hawaii (3 weeks and 6 days! ) as a "couple." We also have plane reservations in March after Hawaii to go and visit his parents. I asked him if he wanted me to wait until at least he came home before making those reservation, but he said no.

I still don't understand what he is doing right now but have resigned myself to just letting it be what it is. He obviously has his reasons for what he is doing, and I am just working on living with it, as much as it hurts. If the end result is that we give our marriage another chance, even if I have to wait all the way until Hawaii, then that's what it is.

I've been working on making more plans for myself and keeping busy. That helps. I've been resisting "snooping" so much and have been working really hard on asking myself before I do something whether it is going to move me towards my goal or away from it and then acting appropriately.

It has become increasingly important to me that he comes home when and because HE WANTS TO. To that end, whenever I feel like I want to ask him about coming home, I think about my goal of wanting him to come home when and because he wants to, and I let it go. I keep hoping that maybe he has already broken things off with the OW but just hasn't come home yet - that he's taking some time to himself. Even though that may not be true, it helps me to keep plugging along and to sleep better at night.

We are going out with some good friends of ours tonight. I am nervous, as it is the first time we have been out together in a more social atmosphere rather than business since this all happened. I'm just going to follow his lead and focus on being happy and positive and fun to be around and see how it goes...

Well, that's it from here for now. I hope you all are doing well in your "fights."