Tam, just time for a quick post here. Often the Solution Focused/Oriented approach strikes us as strange e.g. "If I'm happy around him all the time he'll think I'm OK with this". The beauty of the SF approach is that it gets us to look at things in a different way and initially that is tough to do! Again, when you are unhappy, pleading, criticizing etc is that helping the R? I'd say NO. By doing something different you are changing the dynamic, adding some mystery e.g. "Wow, why is she not pleading and unhappy? What's going on there" He must now put his thoughts towards you and why what was is not happening how. You are getting him to think about YOU rather than OW, but in a different way. When you do the pleading etc he shuts you out of his mind pronto! That's what GAL will do too. He'll start wondering about his new you and the kicker is you'll feel so much better about you too.
Lastly, I was thinking maybe you should tell him he doesn't need to tell you that "we are on track" etc. you recognize he will come home when he chooses to and if he chooses to. You could even throw in " hopefully, I will still be open to it", get him really thinking! This might be a pretty powerful 180 for you. Think about it. Gotta go.
