First off...you really need to condense your post. Too long to read...Second, welcome aboard, sorry you're here, but there are alot of nice people that can guide you.
May I suggest you completely back off from your H. Do not bring up the OW or talk about your R with him. This tends to push him away - it's not helping your situation at all.
Next, get yourself together - no more begging, crying... if you need to drop some weight, do so, make yourself into a sexy woman - not slut - sexy. Change your attitude of accusing him and be nice and loving.
Do not follow him and do not call him - you need to work on the premise that what he does doesn't bother you.
He will end the affair when he's ready...there is nothing you can do to stop it...it will die it's own death.
Keep all conversations with him positive...it sounds like you may talk his ear off too much...short and simple. He will come back to you when he's ready...
