I did call my wife to discuss R before we left for dinner last night. I couldn't help it, I needed some feedback, after all we are working at recociliation and I am not really divorce busting. Actually the R talk went really well.
One of the issues we had in our marriage was me not opening up with my feelings and I am not going to do that anymore. Anyway, she felt me backing off and actually appreciated it but it did worry her a little, but she figured I was giving her some space. She also assured me she is firmly committed to making our M work but just doesn't want to come home to quick, all though at times she feels like she is almost ready but just gets a little scared. This is something that time will take care of, but it is still hard to wait. We both walked away from the phone conversation feeling very good.
All in all my obessessing and worrying was much to do about nothing. Just a little sincere communication solved it all, in fact probably helped a lot as she sees my ability to open up now. I know her too well and am glad we had the talk because she was so relaxed and almost giddy at dinner.
I am beggining to see when you are in the piecing it back together mode, that some of the DB principles like not pressuring and being patient, taking baby steps do apply. However, you have to start doing the things like communicating and meeting your mates emotional desires, the things that make a M strong.
