Here we go again.. The situation is this: 2 years ago my H told me he was miserable and wanted to go to C and "maybe" work on our marriage. During that time, I found out that he was having an affair. It was pretty involved and he was going to leave to be with her until she decided to end it. So, we worked on our marriage and from his point of view, it was the best it's ever been. I, however, have always been waiting for the hammer to fall again. Well, yesterday... it did... and the A has been going on for 3 months. I feel like a bigger idiot now than I did the first time. I forgave him but never really deep down trusted that he would remain faithful.
He has a very high sex drive and my isn't so high and that is always his excuse for screwing someone outside of our marriage. He also finally admitted to me yesterday that the first was PA and not EA. Of course, I knew this. But, the point is that he never truly came clean with me.
Now, he wants to work on our marriage. The question is: how can I trust a man who says he loves me and everything else about our marriage, is very loving towards me, and yet, still is participating in sex outside of our marriage? I don't even know him anymore. We used to share the same morals and ethics.. But, now...
We have one D3 and it breaks both of our hearts to think of not spending every possible day with her. But, I'm not sure that I can even do this again. I told him today that I would go to counseling one time next week but had little faith that we could work it out. I guess the good thing is that I am not a hysterical mess this time but am able to actually articulate my feelings
