Long time no see, but I have noticed, appreciated, but have not replied to your posts on my thread.
Quoting you in bold:
Nothing major, it is just tough for w and I both to understand everything that is happening and why it just won't go away and everything be like it should.
Took time to get where you are, and it will take time to get where you want to be. I'd stress patience to you (and her?) that it will be a long but worthwhile journey.
I talked to W today and she said she wanted to go to some consouling. I asked if she ment for the both of us for MC. She said no, she said she felt depressed and wanted to talk to someone on the outside to figure out what was going on.
This is mostly good as it shows that she's willing to put effort into working on your M. I wouldn't worry that she doesn't want to do it with you; if she has her own issues to sort out, it may be better for her to do that without you, at least for a while.
She asked if I supported that decision and I said yes I think if that is something you would like to do you should do it.
Like they used to say on Family Feud:
Good answer, good answer.
Now, what I'd do next is say something (or at least think about it) like this:
"I respect that there may be things you discuss w/ your IC that are private and for only the two of you. What I will say is that I won't ask about your sessions, not because I don't care about you, but out of respect for your privacy.
If, however, you'd like to discuss anything from your sessions with me, I'd be more than happy to listen."
Something like that. You said something like this later:
I told her that I would be here for her to lean on me if she needed to
she thanked me for that but said this is something that she has to do on her own and there was nothing I could do to help her in this.
This is very true, and that's why I'd recommend saying something along the lines of what I wrote above.
I feel helpless and I wish there was something I could do
But if this is really her working on her issues, she has to do it and it will happen according to her timetable. I know, believe me.
she wants to do this on her own
She may very well have to.
I am just going to sit back and see what happens.
And that's all you can do. But I'd actively be as supportive as you can without being prying/intrusive.
She may be in for a long, hard, painful ride depending on what she's working on...
Take care, you're doing fine.
S_O_T_S aka: Stoic_On_The_Surface
I can't quite get there cause my heart's forsaken me - KT Tunstall
