Just getting started peicing it back together 2

[S_O_T_S]

Hi jersting. Didn't make it through all the replies, but I wanted to address a few comments you made. I'm sure some of what I write will be redundant with what follows from others, but I wanted to reply to you; I'm still watching you, and hoping for the best for you.

I'll quote you in bold.

I have to admit I have doubts once in a while of why I am trying so hard to hold my marriage together.

I can't/don't want to put words in your mouth as to why, since you list some answers below, but do any of these ring a bell?

• You want to maintain a whole, loving family for your kids
  
• You still love your wife
  
• You believe in honoring your committments to W and your M
  
• You don't believe in taking the easy way out, even if it's less painful

I'm sure there are others. Maybe you should write out a list and keep it to look at when you start to have doubts?

I am not going to go look for a new bride or even another woman for companionship. I would not do that even if I knew for sure I was getting a d.

I suppose this depends on the person and the circumstances, but I can't imagine that it's a healthy or a good idea to jump into a new R until well after you've had time to recover. From what I hear, the normal time frame for this is 1.5-2 years for most people, but what I don't know is when they start the clock ticking for that (i.e. first sign of trouble {i.e. separation}, divorce final, divorce court app.? etc.)

I did talk to her sunday night and told her I felt like I was walking away from something I should not be walking away from.

I'm glad you feel this way.

I just need to hear from other people that I am doing the right thing.

You're doing the right thing (IMO).

All my friends and family tell me that there is no use and I need to move on.

Maybe this says something about your intestinal fortitude, the strength of your convictions, and the ability to make a stand for something you beleive in. Perhaps theirs too (not to speak ill of your friends and family)?

You decide to do the right thing for you and your kids.

I don't know how much more moving on I can do at this point.

If moving on means getting to a place of happy GAL detachment, then you usually are there.

If it means finding another woman, I don't think that's probably a good idea for most, as I wrote above.

I seem to happy with what I have. What more moving on is there?

Probably not too much more, except that I recently heard that there are three ways you start to heal:

1) The duration between your bad times gets longer
2) The intensity of any one bad episode gets less over time
3) The duration of any one bad episode gets less over time

Thanks for all of your advice and I will be posting more as things change for me. Good luck to you all and know that I include all of you in my prayers nightly.

Thanks for the updates, I'm hopeful you will have posts of increasing frequency with good news in them.

I hope the best for you. Take care,