yes, I'm absolutely a Do-er! I also like to have a plan, a goal, probably many of the reasons we find the DB support very helpful.
The trouble I have is dealing with all the "unknowns", and imaginable unknowns.
I think of you Heywyre, because you mentioned your H had a 2nd bomb, and how you did not feel the 2 of you repaired after the 1st. Exactly how I am feeling!!! I know I am a different person now. I know I ( you too I'm sure) am stronger knowing what I faced and have come to value. My M, but not at the risk of loosing myself in the process.
My fear now is, how much am I imagining and preparing for bomb#2, if it is going to come at all? Do you feel your attitude may have contributed to the 2nd? Are you in a better place for yourself now, than after OW#1? a better DBer and stronger because you see have the past to learn from?
As I said, I can detach from my H's MLC, but not deny another OW if it comes to be. Were you surprised at all at #2? or looking back now see it coming?
Been reading other posts on boundaries, and thinking lots on that also. I can't be afraid to speak my mind about things that just "don't seem right". I'm having a hard time at deciding and then speaking of these issues,i.e. the continued seperate ck. book, and other things I am just not hearing or seeing to "reassure" me. I tell myself to give it and him time on all of his silence, but feel I have developed a hardening protective shell.
The first time I discovered OW and the A, I really wasn't surprised. Somehow all the signs were there, but denial is a big defense and I let it all go by.
I think I am giving myself advise!!!--yes, patience and time for now.
