I agree with that whole concept of wanting others to "learn" from this whole thing and not destroy other marriages (and children!). When I learned about the affiar I did say and do some pretty mean things to OW. And it's not that I'm proud of this or think it was right, but there's a part of me that did want to show her, if you hurt other people they are going to hurt you back. And if you do something wrong and disgusting it's going to haunt you.
But, on the other hand, I'd come up with vindictive things and finally had to stop myself. Doing too much of this only makes me the "bad person."
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
