I think in marriages that last at least one person is the "strong one" and you and I are it. That's just the way it is.
I know when the first one happened I had a huge amount of stuff on my plate... I was working evenings as a magazine editor, had one very ill toddler (with a chronic illness) and a very young baby showing signs of developmental delay. Also, I was so stressed and overwhelmed that I developed asthsma, super painful back problems and eczema around my eyes (this was not normal for me! I'm always unusually healthy but in the space of a few months I was practically falling apart!!!!). Anyhow, that's when my husband had his pleasant little lunches with a female co-worker and they'd complain about their marriages.....
It's funny, because after I learned about the affair I'd look at videos at that time and try to find signs of where the marriage went wrong and what I might have done to cause it. There was even this one video on Valentine's Day (the affair was January through March). I made his favorite meal, and used food coloring to make EVERYTHING red. I decorated with balloons and had a cake.... I would always surprise him in unique ways on holidays and special occassions. I was even on the phone at one point and was saying all these great things about him. Bragging about him.... I really idolized my husband.
Anyhow, I still love, acknowledge and appreciate the good things in him. And am well aware of his weaknesses.
But I'm the stronger one. You are too. And that's what's going to get us through this and help us deal with whatever the future brings.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
