I think you guys are right. As the LBS we tend to romaticize the A beyond reality. I think most of us seek out reassurance. We want to hear that our spouses desire that chapter in their life over, finished and long-forgotten. My husband isn't a great communicator so this is probably one reason why I have stuggled with this.
My therapist has had both my husband and I together in her office and she has pointed out to me that he may not be able to tell me what I want to hear. That's just the reality of it. And somehow I need to find peace with that.
I think ultimately peace will lie within me and not from validation outside myself (i.e. husband, or any other man, person...).
Fortunately I'm doing really good and I feel like I'm back on track.
P.s. Sol, I can relate to that surrealistic feeling about the spouse wanting to work on the relationship. My husband was ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN he wanted a divorce for about 5 months. There was NO wavering and he's not the wavering type. So when he did change his mind after 20K in lawyers, etc, and just before the first court date... THAT was surreal!!!
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
