I guess what helped me to get OW out of my mind (sort of) is that it was my H that was married - not her (which doesn't make it right)
He was the one that persued her and even if he didn't, he didn't have to capitulate did he? He had the option of resisting and he didn't, therefore (IMHO) he is the one I have to deal with, not her. Of course there will always be the odd time she pops into my head but I try to avoid those situations like the plague. If this M survives she will not be part of it - I never liked threesomes - all kidding aside, this M is about me and H - not her. She doesn't, and never did, have any part of my M. I made this very clear with H when he wanted to reconcile. I said the first decision you have to make is to get rid of OW 100% - he was shocked and said he didn't know if he could do it. I said "then you have to let me go" - that shocked him even more. It was not something he wanted to do. He wanted to ween himself off - sorry hon! This isn't a buffet!
We are now piecing and I am confident the OW is not in his life (other than emotionally - which he is working through)
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
- all kidding aside, this M is about me and H - not her. She doesn't, and never did, have any part of my M. I made this very clear with H when he wanted to reconcile. I said the first decision you have to make is to get rid of OW 100% - he was shocked and said he didn't know if he could do it. I said "then you have to let me go" - that shocked him even more. It was not something he wanted to do. He wanted to ween himself off - sorry hon! This isn't a buffet!