Let's talk about this "unconditional love" your fiance wishes you would give her. That, my friend, is the real illusion. Why not ask her if she would love you unconditionally? What if you had an affair? What if you were a drug addict? What if you beat the crap out of her on a regular basis?
No. No. No. No.... Unconditional love is something that we sometimes get from our parents (but there are plenty of examples of parents who don't give this to their children). Unconditional love is something that some people claim they/you only get from God, or Allah, or Vishnu, or (insert favorite deity here).
Unconditional love is a trump card that people put on the table when they want to show you how crappy you are for not putting up with their sh!t.
I'm sorry to hear that your fiance's parents were unavailable. That's some hefty baggage. You can choose to be there to help her through the bad times. You can choose to love her in spite of occasional bad behavior on her part. You can choose to love her, even though it hurts, every day, to wake up and realize that you are still with her, and that she still is the same dispassionate cold fish you chose to be with years ago.
But one day, my friend, "conditions" may get the best of you and you will realize that you don't love her anymore, because you have given her all of yourself, and she has remained steadfast in her disinterest in physical love.
And then you'll be as old and cranky as some of us on the board.
As for sleeping on the couch, I want to tell you that it's not a defeat. Enjoy the couch. I've gotten some of my best nights' sleep on various couches.
One last piece of advice: avoid preachy dudes who call you a moron and accuse you of being some sort of sex addict and sinner just because you had premarital sex. They have an agenda.
