tamashii - i respect and understand your opinion, but it is very difficult for me for me relate. one could almost say you sound as though you have been 'castrated' by your wife and are now subject to her rules regarding your sex life. that said, i do think that sex before marriage messes things up. we choose our 'own way'... just as adam did... and we take a big risk. God only wanted to help us... but ultimately it is our choice. i have no doubt i got myself into this mess... but i also know that i am unwilling to give up my sex life for any 'higher' ascetic virtue. i think deida's model is quite consistent with christian theology. i also think sex means so much to us because it is meant to. we might mess up, but ultimately He wants us to find our way. there are a multitude of 'own choices' that have lead us here - both her and me.
