hairdog - you're exactly right. btw, as a disclaimer - i disagree with a lot of people on this board - just not the people/advice in this thread. i think you're all right on track. now i'm sleeping on the couch. does it say something that i'm sleeping on the couch and not her? well if it were up to me i'd be sleeping in bed with her. i'm not trying to confuse her - but she basically says the whole relationship is over now that my commitment is in question - or now that there may be some 'condition' to our marriage. i love her and i am still committed to her - but i have finally expressed to her how important sex is to me - and i've done it in terms that she actually cares about. her response is to take off her ring and essentially 'shut down'. she has stopped returning my emails and insists i sleep on the couch. for all i know, when i get home all her stuff may be gone. i may never hear from her again. i think she loves me but she has major abandonment issues (dad left at 4, mom died at 9), and she needs unconditional love from someone. i feel like i give her that. i need sex in return - which we are working on. but now that i brought the wedding/commitment into the sex thing - she is responding by radically shutting down. this may be the end - but i don't know how this could have been avoided.
