hey guys. thanks for all the great responses. like i said, i don't know what i would do without this board. your experience and stories are absolutely invaluable. i think the therapy will be a great experience for both of us to communicate in a safe environment, but the knowledge and advice i am getting here is worth more than the $100/hr even. that said, the first session was good. we are supposed to write down how we feel and express love to each other for next time... and i'm not supposed to try initiating sex at all. it was nice to hear her say how much she loves me in the session. it made me realize how little she says it on a day to day basis. anyways... all the stories and advice you guys are sharing is dead on. i have to get myself out. plain and simple. i am going to continue with the therapy, but i fear even if things change, i will continually be 'reinventing the wheel'. thanks for the story balto, that's it to a tee. her previous engagement was 10 years ago and i think they just fought too much leading up to the marriage and she didn't feel appreciated - which won't be the case with me. who knows though, maybe that guy was going through the same thing? as for the music thing - i am confident of my abilities. it's just a matter of time before it's full time. i have another good job, but the point about her appreciating my interests is a fascinating idea. she claims to feel hurt that pour so much energy into the music and not our wedding - but she knows why i am not excited about the wedding. the sex. which makes it all worse. she says i am 'holding a carrot in front of her'. anyways... thanks again for all the great advice guys. i suppose we're back to the same solution: if i had half a brain i'd get out as fast as i can. the only thing that will save me is bravery and courage.
