Hey Sinking, I will tell you from experience that it is a problem that will grow larger in your mind as time goes on, and it will magnify all the other problems that crop up, too. My H was HD and I was not so much, and wouldn't do sexually things he wanted, because I was pretty inexperienced at them when we were dating and first M. I even expressed the belief that it shouldn't be that important to him. I didn't want to do it and wouldn't. Well flash forward over twenty years and I find he is having an EA, not a PA, he says. I was and still am devastated, and I read and am still reading many books on R's. I had my eyes opened to the importance of sex to men. I began to ML more with my H and he loves it, and I have gotten over the issues I had over cetain acts, and he really likes that, but our M is forever changed if it can even be saved. I find I am enjoying all of it like never before. I am trying all I can to fix all aspects of our M, but H says he doesn't know if he can ever get "those feelings" back, even though he loves me and always will. I believe the ow is holding him back, even though he says it is over, but still contacts her. So, what I am saying, maybe you could show her this site and let her read stories from others who have and are going through this, and let her see that it may not seem like a terribly important thing right now when you are in the midst of romance, but that eventually reality rears its ugly head and this issue could be the start of something that tears you two apart. Make sure this issue is resolved BEFORE you get married to her, GOOD LUCK! L
